What I hate more than anything is people that gloat. Specifically people that are married. Yes, hate is a strong word, and yes, I'm sure I hate a lot of other things above braggy ass couples on social media. However I feel about it, all I know is that there is a special place in hell for those who boast online.
Enough with the dramatics. We all know at least one couple that we either hate stalk, or we are friends with online, who swear that no one compares to them and that their love is above all. We "tolerate" these couples on social media because it's like a train wreck you can't look away from. For some of you it might be jealousy, which is OK. We all get a little jealous at times. For others, we sit and cringe at how someone could think that posting these vomit inducing statuses, are what people want to see. I get it. I truly get it. I know what social media is for. it's nice to see how things are going for a childhood friend who moved away, or how well your cousin is doing since she had her new baby. It's even cool to see the new restaurants that your co-worker went to. I even accept random status updates about everyday life, especially if it's entertaining enough. However, there is just a certain etiquette that people should have when it comes to post pertaining to their relationship.
Marriage post can be the most entertaining and equally cringe worthy things to come across on social media. Here I am going to list a few tip pertaining to social media etiquette for those newly engaged couples. Yes, it's an exciting time, yes we want to know details about the wedding, and yes we're excited to be updated on the wedding planning process, but you have to tread carefully. There is a thin line between sharing your joys with the world and bragging.
EXCESSIVE WEDDING HASHTAGS
Hashtags can be fun. I like to get really creative and crazy with mine. Most times I'll hashtag things that don't need to be hash-tagged, like an extra long sentence. There is a limit, however, at least there should be. Below are some of the most eye-rolling, please-stop-for-your-own-good, you're-coming-off-as-a-snob, hashtags:
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Sorry, I had to clean up my vomit, but no seriously. You get what I'm saying. It's too much. It doesn't come off as you're happy, and no one feels happy for you. Yes, you may get a few likes, but most of those people are staring at your post with a dumbfounded look of annoyance. We get it. You feel like you're the #luckiestperson on earth, but you're happiness is not coming off as "high on life." Your proclamation of happiness is coming off as pretentious. Humble yourself.
BEING JOINED AT THE HIP
When you get married, your spouse is one of the most important things in your life. You are teammates until death do you part. Your spouse will be the number one person you rely on. You are now officially recognized as one in the eyes of the government. I understand. Marriage is a sacred bond, a commitment, as promise to spend the rest of your life devoted to one other person, but this should not negate your individualism.
I have to admit that it took me a long time to realize so much truth behind this. To be honest, I didn't realize how important it was. Nor did I realize when I was losing myself. In the past, after rushing into yet another relationship, everything would automatically be about my significant other. Don't get me wrong, I always stayed true to myself and I had my fun, but I would put my friends off. Even if we did hand around other people, I found myself hanging out with my boyfriend's friends more. I never did this intentionally. I guess it just feels nice to be loved and not to be alone, so I invested everything into making sure that it would never end. After succumbing to this vicious cycle through many relationships, I finally realized that I was always having to explain myself or apologize to friends before I asked them to hang out again. More times than none, it was only after I went through a break up.
Long story short, after pairing with my current beau, I swore I would never be that woman again. I held onto my old friendships and made more friends as our relationship moved forward. I'm lucky that he values his personal time and being out with his friends, just as much as I do.
This leads me back to being joined at the hip. Per social media, most people on your friends list want to know what you're up to. They don't always want to see you and your husband doing absolutely everything together. Most people on your friends list are YOUR friends and they could care less what's going on with your significant other. They want to see you. If they cared what your husband was doing they would send him a friends request. On top of that, no one wants to see you and your man in a thousand pictures together, taking one too many selfies. Damn, don't ya'll have anything else to do? Don't lose your individualism. It shouldn't even be something you have to convince people of. You should want to be your own person. Hang out with your own friends. Your personal space and time is going to be more important to you the longer you're married. Don't neglect yourself and your friends. Keep being you and keep building those friendship.
KISSING SELFIES
I don't think I have to explain myself. This shit is annoying and super cringey. Anyone doing this should stop now and send a formal apology to everyone on their friends list. Only couples who are desperate to look happy to everyone else, post kissing selfies. If you disagree with me, fight me.
POSTING PICTURES OF GIFTS
OK. This one can be tricky. So rather than talk about what's acceptable, we'll focus heavily on what's not. Unless you are J-Lo, Beyonce, Britney Spears, or any other celebrity diva, we don't care what you got for your anniversary. We don't care what you got as a just because gift, or for your birthday. Granted, if it's something insanely rare, or cool, please post it. We all want to see something that we could never possess. However, no one cares about the teddy bear you got for Valentine's Day. No one cares about about the shoes, the purse, or all the candy Santa Hubby left got your for Christmas. I don't want to see two grown ass people giving each other childish ass Easter baskets. I won't front. I have posted things like this before. The last gift I remember posting is a "just because" gift of a $1300 latest Fuji Film camera that my boyfriend gave me #braggingbitch. It's like a switched flipped and I realized that I was boasting and bragging and I didn't like it. I have receive better things since then. I have received professional studio picture lighting, a tripod for my camera, lenses, backdrop, a new car, and the list goes on. So if we hangout and we're close, you'll see these things. Other than that, I don't care who knows what I have.
Yes, if I don't want to see these post, I can remove these people from my friends list. I can even just actively avoid their post online. I know this. I don't have to witness these atrocities. For all you haters out there this post is purely informational with a bunch of venting sprinkled on top. I hope you took it with a grain of salt, learned from it and maybe had a few laughs.